Holding Fragility with Strength

photo by grassrootsmsw
Central Park, NYC

“It's not a day on the calendar. Not a birthday, not a new year. It's an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, it gives us hope. A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories . . . What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. But it's also important to remember that amid all the crap . . . there are a few things worth holding on to.”

Grey’s Anatomy

Choosing Ambiguity...

photo by E. Fabery de Jonge
Kauai, HI

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, or end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.”

Gilda Radner

Pet Bereavement

Image by Seltzer LLC
"Pet door"

For M and M:

Thinking of you both and believing Henry has found his door and is ruling his new kingdom...

Madison probably has a slightly larger door, but will be more than pleased to let Henry rule him upon entering!

The Boys...

November 8th

Happy Appletinis my dear ones!
Imagining you both toasting together...
with, Roxie, of coarse...

In Honor of "Mad Man" 2/12/95-11/7/07

Madison's first snow
NYC 1995

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader.
He will be yours, faithful and true,
to the last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
Author-Unknown

For the last 12 and a half years I have lived in many places without established roots, but there was always a sense of “home” because my dear Madison was with me…it was his love and devotion which defined “home” wherever we were together.

There is an indescribable bond that was gifted to both of us from the moment we first met. It was and is untainted, pure, and unconditional.

As a young pup he looked to me for permission to frolic with his canine buddies, and usually ran back between my legs for protection when it was more than he could handle. It was his joyous innocent exuberance, upon experiencing his first snow fall, which stays with me…He rolled back and forth and dipped his nose into the deep delicious 4 inches of white powder, and begged me with his eyes to join him. It was with ease and pleasure that I joined in his wonderment and fun.

Without words, just a look, we know what the other needs. Mostly, we have just looked to one another for companionship and a warm body to lean against. Being a golden retriever, Madison would always be blatantly open in showing me his desire for dog treats…which was most of his waking hours.

While I knew that one day I would have to say good bye to him, I never imagined how that would look and it was easy to push that dreaded thought away. Last night, after a painful and lengthy seizure, Madison looked at me and I saw what I didn’t want to see, but what I knew I had to honor and acknowledge.

He has been my silent protector and guardian for 12 and half years, and now it is my turn to be his.