I have been a professional social worker since 1987, and received my Masters degree in Social Work in NYC in 1991. My privileged exposure to "grassroots" social work started in NYC, working with homebound seniors, and through the years has expanded to hospice and palliative care. My career allows me to see the bigger picture in life, and for that, I am grateful and humbled. I have been gifted in witnessing the raw beauty, resilience, and integrity of the many people I have served. My blog will be a mix of stories, experiences, and characters that reverberate with me; some as a result of my social work and the lessons found. At other times, I may just share a thought or a moment, with no focused purpose. Free falling...it's a good thing.
Elephant Nature Park
Northern Thailand Conservation Project
"The truth is, in order to heal we need to tell our stories and have them witnessed...The story itself becomes a vessel that holds us up, that sustains, that allows us to order our jumbled experiences into meaning.
As I told my stories of fear, awakening, struggle, and transformation and had them received, heard, and validated by other women, I found healing.
I also needed to hear other women's stories in order to see and embrace my own. Sometimes another woman's story becomes a mirror that shows me a self I haven't seen before. When I listen to her tell it, her experience quickens and clarifies my own. Her questions rouse mine. Her conflicts illumine my conflicts. Her resolutions call forth my hope. Her strengths summon my strengths. All of this can happen even when our stories and our lives are very different."
Thank you all for sharing and being part of the many stories that will always stay with me... Onwards with your pioneering and soulful work...I am waiting to hear every detail with anticipation and hope. I am looking forward to when and where our stories will merge and blossom again.
"I hadn't been out to the hives before, so to start off she gave me a lesson in what she called 'bee yard etiquette'. She reminded me that the world was really one bee yard, and the same rules work fine in both places. Don't be afraid, as no life-loving bee wants to sting you. Still, don't be an idiot; wear long sleeves and pants. Don't swat. Don't even think about swatting. If you feel angry, whistle. Anger agitates while whistling melts a bee's temper. Act like you know what you're doing, even if you don't. Above all, send the bees love. Every little thing wants to be loved."
The role(s) and boundaries of professional health care providers,' most especially at end of life, requires constant awareness of self, purpose, and goal. Given the intimacy and sacredness that accompanies this service, it is often complicated and difficult to draw lines of safety and professionalism...for ourselves and for those we serve.
The following quote, from Frank Ostaseski, (of Metta Institute), reaches and touches this delicate subject at the truest and deepest levels...
“You see, at the very heart of service we understand that
the act of caring is always mutually beneficial. We
understand that in nurturing others we are always caring
for ourselves, and this understanding fundamentally shifts
the way we provide care. .."Compassion," when literally translated means "suffering with others" and "with'" is the most important word, because it implies
belonging. "Companion” is "one who travels with another."
So in this relationship there is no guide, there is no healer
and no one healed; we simply accompany one another.
And as my friend Reb Anderson says, "We are simply
walking through birth and death holding hands."
If we are paying attention as we walk into the room of
someone dying, we immediately understand, in a visceral
way, just how precarious this life is. As we understand
that, we also come to see how precious it is. When we
keep death close at hand, we become less compulsive
about our desires, we take ourselves and our ideas a little
less seriously, and we let go more easily. We become
more open to generosity and to love. Paradoxically,
working with the dying will make us kinder to one
another. In the face of death everything we normally
identify with ourselves will either be stripped away by
illness or given up gracefully – but it all goes. "I'm a
father, I'm a mother, I'm a hospice worker" – whatever our
notion about our identity, it will go.
Helping incurs debt. When you help someone, they owe
you. But service is mutual. When I help I have a feeling of
satisfaction, but when I serve I have a feeling of gratitude.
Serving is also different to fixing. We fix broken pipes,
we don't fix people. When I set about fixing another
person, it's because I see them as broken. Fixing is a form
of judgment that separates us from one another; it creates
a distance. So fundamentally, helping, fixing and serving are ways of
seeing life. When you help, you see life as weak; when
you fix, you see life as broken; and when you serve, you
see life as whole. When we serve in this way, we
understand that this person's suffering is also my
suffering, that their joy is also my joy and then the
impulse to serve arises naturally -- our natural wisdom and
compassion presents itself quite simply. A server knows
that they're being used and has the willingness to be …When we serve, we are always in the service of wholeness. Caring for those who are suffering, whether or not they are dying, wakes us up. It opens up our hearts and our
minds. It opens us up to the experience of this wholeness
that I speak of. More often than not, though, we are caught
in the habitual roles and ideas that keep us separate from
each other. Lost in some reactive mind state, busy trying
to protect our self-image, we cut ourselves off and isolate
ourselves from that which would really serve and inform
our work. To be people who heal, we have to be willing to
bring our passion to the bedside; our own wounds, our
fear, our full selves. Yes, it is the exploration of our own
suffering that forms a bridge to the person we're serving.”
May we continue to serve with our own wholeness and brokenness. May we always understand and hold the integrity of service and sharing at the core of our work. May we always explore within and without...believing in the path of transcendence and transformation.
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
Margaret Mead
Today, several of my colleagues left the U.S. to visit Kenya, to support the Foundations for Sub Saharan Africa and their partner VIAGENCO. They will bring medical supplies, equipment, medical expertise, and compassion to the worthy and noble.
May we all continue to reach out to humanity and the world at large with generosity and open hearts' and minds.'
May we hold and live up to the responsibility of our roles' as citizens of The United States of America...
Selections' from President Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech...
“On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom…
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath…
America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.”
“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.”
Leonardo da Vinci
On the rarest of occasions, there is opportunity to be a legal "coyote."
Today, with tremendous support and effort from Congresswoman Lois Capps' staff, and compassionate dedication from several Santa Barbara medical physicians', a dying gentleman was granted his dearest and final wish.
This gentleman, a legal and documented citizen of the U.S., has two children residing in another country where they are receiving their University educations.' As this gentleman is facing the final stages of his terminal illness, he has remained alert and determined to stay alive, with the sole hope that his children will be able to gain legal entrance into the U.S. and visit him one last time.
After 7 days of waiting at multiple border crossings, meeting with various consulate officials, and two refusals for entry to the U.S., finally, tonight, the dying gentleman's children were granted humanitarian visa entries.As I write this blog entry, they are on the road and on their way to see their father at the hospice home that is caring for him.
I had the greatest honor tonight, as I went to the hospice home and delivered the miraculous news to the dying gentleman. I have never been so moved or touched...as the tears streamed down his face, he simultaneously had the most beautiful and shining smile I have ever seen.
"Coyotes," were not needed to make this dream happen, rather a committed and determined group of people who believed in "doing." Like dogs with a bone, they maintained their stamina, doing the doing, and pushing forth with action. It wasn't just this gentleman's story that guided and inspired vigor, rather the resonation and connection to a story that is part of all of us...
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