Musings of a grassroots social worker

A GA Sunset

2011-12-08T09:11:00.000-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

It is hard to believe that a year ago my husband and I were living in Georgia and witnessing this sunset from our front yard.

So much has changed in this year.

Now we find ourselves in mid construction with a fixer upper back in California.

Every day is a new adventure and I am trying to be open to each one with grace and humility.

I have missed blogging and this may be the perfect time to restart...

Side Streets

2010-04-18T16:16:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

Each day I take this side street home from work...while it is the same street, it changes with each season. Brightly canopied and flourishing in the summer; crimson orange and red in the fall; bare and somber in the winter; and now, full of new life and bursting blossoms in the spring. Each of these seasons beckon different feelings from within, but there remains a sense of constancy and safety in knowing that I will take this same side street each day...a feeling of familiarity in a place that doesn't have a history of holding this for me.

I have been in the Southeast for almost a year now, and I have hoped to adjust to this place in the same way the landscape adjusts to the seasons. Somehow, it seems that nature is much more flexible and adaptable than humans are. Maybe because we have memories and we hold on to them so attentively. Maybe, we hold on to a life that has been good, trying to look forward to a new one, but stumbling when there is nothing recognizable or safe in this new place. Even with a sense of adventure and openness, we humans seem to be rooted to the places that offer us nourishment, love, friendship, and family. Why else? We all choose to be defined by the people and places that make us feel complete and a bit better than we were the day before.

Starting over at a later age is so much more challenging than when we were young...we lose those "Gumby" skills. We don't appreciate roots when we are young...we just wander, spreading our seeds all over the place and hoping that they will take root in the "right" place. I am not sure what "right" is, but I believe it is where we laugh a lot and we can absolutely be ourselves, despite the change in seasons.

So for now, I will continue to take my daily side street...hoping I will find roots in a familiar and consistent path, while also holding on to all that has nourished me and reminded me that I can adapt and change without losing myself along the way.

-grassrootsmsw-

She tribes...

2009-07-01T00:25:00.000-07:00

Elephant Nature Park
Northern Thailand Conservation Project

"The truth is, in order to heal we need to tell our stories and have them witnessed...The story itself becomes a vessel that holds us up, that sustains, that allows us to order our jumbled experiences into meaning.

As I told my stories of fear, awakening, struggle, and transformation and had them received, heard, and validated by other women, I found healing.

I also needed to hear other women's stories in order to see and embrace my own. Sometimes another woman's story becomes a mirror that shows me a self I haven't seen before. When I listen to her tell it, her experience quickens and clarifies my own. Her questions rouse mine. Her conflicts illumine my conflicts. Her resolutions call forth my hope. Her strengths summon my strengths. All of this can happen even when our stories and our lives are very different."

-Sue Monk Kidd-

From the "Story Keeper"

2009-06-24T22:52:00.001-07:00

The "A" Team

“From the stars we came;

to the stars we owe all of life’s creation,

and from thence we shall return.

Because we are Stardust.

We are Golden.

And we will meet back in the Garden.

All in time…

All in time.”

Barry Morrow

Thank you all for sharing and being part of the many stories that will always stay with me...
Onwards with your pioneering and soulful work...I am waiting to hear every detail with anticipation and hope. I am looking forward to when and where our stories will merge and blossom again.

Welcome Lissette!

2009-06-07T23:18:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

"A new baby is like the beginning of all things - wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."
Eda J Leshan

Thinking of M & M and their new love and creation, Lissette! The most beautiful of beginnings launched at 4:51pm today...and the story begins...

Much love to all 3 "Cummer's"
TantTi

Home...

2009-05-22T22:31:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
HPJ's garden
SB, CA

"Where we love is home,
home that our feet may leave,
but not our hearts."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Life's "bee yard"

2009-05-11T21:32:00.000-07:00

Photo from Elephant Nature Foundation
Thailand

"I hadn't been out to the hives before, so to start off she gave me a lesson in what she called 'bee yard etiquette'. She reminded me that the world was really one bee yard, and the same rules work fine in both places. Don't be afraid, as no life-loving bee wants to sting you. Still, don't be an idiot; wear long sleeves and pants. Don't swat. Don't even think about swatting. If you feel angry, whistle. Anger agitates while whistling melts a bee's temper. Act like you know what you're doing, even if you don't. Above all, send the bees love. Every little thing wants to be loved."

Sue Monk Kidd

Serving versus "helping"

2009-02-19T22:38:00.000-08:00

photo from Elephant Nature Park
Thailand, 2008

The role(s) and boundaries of professional health care providers,' most especially at end of life, requires constant awareness of self, purpose, and goal. Given the intimacy and sacredness that accompanies this service, it is often complicated and difficult to draw lines of safety and professionalism...for ourselves and for those we serve.

The following quote, from Frank Ostaseski, (of Metta Institute), reaches and touches this delicate subject at the truest and deepest levels...

“You see, at the very heart of service we understand that

the act of caring is always mutually beneficial. We

understand that in nurturing others we are always caring

for ourselves, and this understanding fundamentally shifts

the way we provide care. .."Compassion," when literally translated means "suffering with others" and "with'" is the most important word, because it implies

belonging. "Companion” is "one who travels with another."

So in this relationship there is no guide, there is no healer

and no one healed; we simply accompany one another.

And as my friend Reb Anderson says, "We are simply

walking through birth and death holding hands."

If we are paying attention as we walk into the room of

someone dying, we immediately understand, in a visceral

way, just how precarious this life is. As we understand

that, we also come to see how precious it is. When we

keep death close at hand, we become less compulsive

about our desires, we take ourselves and our ideas a little

less seriously, and we let go more easily. We become

more open to generosity and to love. Paradoxically,

working with the dying will make us kinder to one

another. In the face of death everything we normally

identify with ourselves will either be stripped away by

illness or given up gracefully – but it all goes. "I'm a

father, I'm a mother, I'm a hospice worker" – whatever our

notion about our identity, it will go.

Helping incurs debt. When you help someone, they owe

you. But service is mutual. When I help I have a feeling of

satisfaction, but when I serve I have a feeling of gratitude.

Serving is also different to fixing. We fix broken pipes,

we don't fix people. When I set about fixing another

person, it's because I see them as broken. Fixing is a form

of judgment that separates us from one another; it creates

a distance. So fundamentally, helping, fixing and serving are ways of

seeing life. When you help, you see life as weak; when

you fix, you see life as broken; and when you serve, you

see life as whole. When we serve in this way, we

understand that this person's suffering is also my

suffering, that their joy is also my joy and then the

impulse to serve arises naturally -- our natural wisdom and

compassion presents itself quite simply. A server knows

that they're being used and has the willingness to be …When we serve, we are always in the service of wholeness. Caring for those who are suffering, whether or not they are dying, wakes us up. It opens up our hearts and our

minds. It opens us up to the experience of this wholeness

that I speak of. More often than not, though, we are caught

in the habitual roles and ideas that keep us separate from

each other. Lost in some reactive mind state, busy trying

to protect our self-image, we cut ourselves off and isolate

ourselves from that which would really serve and inform

our work. To be people who heal, we have to be willing to

bring our passion to the bedside; our own wounds, our

fear, our full selves. Yes, it is the exploration of our own

suffering that forms a bridge to the person we're serving.”

May we continue to serve with our own wholeness and brokenness. May we always understand and hold the integrity of service and sharing at the core of our work. May we always explore within and without...believing in the path of transcendence and transformation.

-grassrootsmsw-

A Humanitarian Journey...

2009-02-04T19:42:00.000-08:00

photo by DBL
Mbita, Kenya, Africa
2008

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
Margaret Mead

Today, several of my colleagues left the U.S. to visit Kenya, to support the Foundations for Sub Saharan Africa and their partner VIAGENCO. They will bring medical supplies, equipment, medical expertise, and compassion to the worthy and noble.

May we all continue to reach out to humanity and the world at large with generosity and open hearts' and minds.'

Responsibility for Change

2009-01-20T18:48:00.000-08:00

Photo from Sina.com
January 2009

May we hold and live up to the responsibility of our roles' as citizens of The United States of America...

Selections' from President Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech...

“On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom…

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath…

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.”

President Barack Obama

January 20, 2009

"This Land is Your Land..."

2009-01-19T21:40:00.000-08:00

Photo from Sina.com

"Let freedom ring. On this spot where we're standing, 46 years ago, Dr King had a dream. On Tuesday, that dream comes to pass"

BONO

Lincoln Memorial Celebration

"We are One"

January 2009

"Coyote" dreams...

2009-01-14T21:09:00.000-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.”

Leonardo da Vinci

On the rarest of occasions, there is opportunity to be a legal "coyote."

Today, with tremendous support and effort from Congresswoman Lois Capps' staff, and compassionate dedication from several Santa Barbara medical physicians', a dying gentleman was granted his dearest and final wish.

This gentleman, a legal and documented citizen of the U.S., has two children residing in another country where they are receiving their University educations.' As this gentleman is facing the final stages of his terminal illness, he has remained alert and determined to stay alive, with the sole hope that his children will be able to gain legal entrance into the U.S. and visit him one last time.

After 7 days of waiting at multiple border crossings, meeting with various consulate officials, and two refusals for entry to the U.S., finally, tonight, the dying gentleman's children were granted humanitarian visa entries.As I write this blog entry, they are on the road and on their way to see their father at the hospice home that is caring for him.

I had the greatest honor tonight, as I went to the hospice home and delivered the miraculous news to the dying gentleman. I have never been so moved or touched...as the tears streamed down his face, he simultaneously had the most beautiful and shining smile I have ever seen.

"Coyotes," were not needed to make this dream happen, rather a committed and determined group of people who believed in "doing." Like dogs with a bone, they maintained their stamina, doing the doing, and pushing forth with action. It wasn't just this gentleman's story that guided and inspired vigor, rather the resonation and connection to a story that is part of all of us...

-grassrootsmsw-

Hope and Integration...

2008-12-29T21:47:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Northern Thailand 2008

“Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.”

Hal Borland

2008 has been an extraordinary year...

The most significant high light for me being that we, as a country, chose to believe in transformation and revolution. We chose humanity...we chose to believe the impossible was possible. We as a country and people, chose to create a better world through our actions and beliefs as American voters.'

We had the courage and wisdom to choose CHANGE, and to choose HOPE.

We have initiated new future pathways' for our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren...

May 2009 bring about the beginnings of long awaited change and rebirth. May we hold close the knowledge and lessons learned over time and maintain endurance as we rebuild and recreate the honor, integrity, and humanity of our nation.

The budding blossoms of hope and change are waiting to burst...Let's not only watch, but nurture and participate in their growth and strength...

-grassrootsmsw-

Hybrid Holidays...

2008-12-25T22:12:00.001-08:00

Chrismukkah Elves 2008

"And if Hanukkah Harry is helping Santa, maybe that means that Christians and Jews, deep down, are pretty much the same. Maybe that's the true meaning of Chrismukkah!"

-SNL Skit 12/16/89-

Inter-Species' Love

2008-12-16T23:09:00.000-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

"Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms."

-George Eliot-

A New "Cummer"

2008-12-02T21:49:00.000-08:00

M & M's new addition...

“A grand adventure is about to begin.”
Winnie the Pooh

With the pose of the hand, we can already recognize the character and theatrics soon to take the stage!

Congratulations and love to all three of you...

“Making a decision to have a child--it's momentous.

It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

Elizabeth Stone

Soul Work

2008-11-22T22:27:00.000-08:00

GMR
photo by grassrootsmsw

“We need more everyday heroes. Heroes are ordinary people who take a stand for what is right.

These heroes act with integrity, look fear in the face, go the distance, stand against oppression and endure the cost of disappointment, betrayal and sometimes, pain.

These everyday heroes experience immeasurable rewards for their journey. We all have the opportunity to be everyday heroes. Certain ones,' show us it is possible.”

Blaine Jackson

When you sign up for soul work, it never really ends.

Transforming,
renewing,
rescripting,
redeveloping;
to a yet unknown wholeness.

Soul work...
a kaleidoscope of ongoing possibility
and hope.

-grassrootsmsw-

Hope from around the World...

2008-11-08T22:05:00.000-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

"Your victory has demonstrated that no person anywhere in the world should not dare to dream of wanting to change the world for a better place."

Nelson Mandela, South Africa's first black president.

"This is the fall of the Berlin Wall times ten. America is re-becoming a New World. ... On this morning, we all want to be American so we can take a bite of this dream unfolding before our eyes."

Rama Yade, France's black junior minister for human rights.

"Your election marks a new chapter in the remarkable history of the United States. For long, the ideas of democracy, liberty and freedom espoused by the United States has been a source of inspiration...I hope that under your dynamic leadership, the United States will continue to be a source of global peace and new ideas for humanity."

Manmohan Singh, Indian Prime Minister

"Your extraordinary journey to the White House will inspire people not only in your country but also around the world."

Ali-Al Sadig, Sudanese Foreign Ministry

"With the world in turmoil and doubt, the American people, faithful to the values that have always defined America's identity, have expressed with force their faith in progress and the future. At a time when we must face huge challenges together, your election has raised enormous hope in France, in Europe and beyond."

Hamid Karzai, Afghan President

"What we have seen in talks with him, I met with him in person and in a small group, is a man who understands, who listens and who thinks. I estimate that the basis of our common interests will bring to a continuation of a policy of listening and cooperation to deal with the important challenges for us and the United States."

Ehud Barak, Israeli Defense Minister

Cahnman,

Thinking of you today and knowing how proud you would have been!

Remembering Madison, aka: "Mad Man."

2008-11-07T21:03:00.001-08:00

collage by grassrootsmsw

"Not the least hard thing to bear when they go from us, these quiet friends, is that they carry away with them so many years of our own lives."

John Galsworthy

It has now been one year since I had to say goodbye to you, my dearest Madison. I still carry my memories of you with me, and at the most difficult times,' I can vividly recall your scent and presence, and often recall your soulful eyes and wet nose that would nudge and soothe me. We shared and created so many memories and life changes together...I remember and cherish this every day and hold you in the most special place in my heart.

Belly rubs and love always...

Triumph of faith and hope...

2008-11-04T22:45:00.000-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.”

Barack Obama,

President Elect

Have the last word...Vote Nov. 4th!

2008-11-02T20:15:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

"The country is in deep trouble. We've forgotten that a rich life consists fundamentally of serving others, trying to leave the world a little better than you found it. We need the courage to question the powers that be, the courage to be impatient with evil and patient with people, the courage to fight for social justice. In many instances we will be stepping out on nothing, and just hoping to land on something. But that's the struggle. To live is to wrestle with despair, yet never allow despair to have the last word."

Cornel West

Seekers of the Mystery...

2008-10-23T22:56:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Chiang Rai, Thailand

“Some people do not have to search -
they find their niche early in life and rest there, seemingly contented and resigned.
They do not seem to ask much of life,
sometimes they do not seem to take it seriously.
At times I envy them,
but usually I do not understand them -
seldom do they understand me.

I am one of the searchers.
There are, I believe, millions of us.
We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life,
hoping to uncover its ultimate secret.
We continue to explore ourselves,
hoping to understand.

We like to walk along the beach -
we are drawn by the ocean,
taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty.
We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well.

Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter.
To share our sadness with the one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know -
unless it is to share our laughter.

We searchers are ambitious only for life itself,
for everything beautiful it can provide.
Most of all we want to love and be loved.
We want to live in a relationship that will not impede
our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls.

We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love.
We are wanderers, dreamers and lovers,
lonely souls who dare ask of life everything good and
beautiful.”

James Kavanaugh

Autumn

2008-10-21T22:01:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“October is a symphony of permanence and change.”
Bonaro W. Overstreet

Practicing with Acceptance...

2008-10-14T21:37:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Chiang Rai:
Buddhist Temple ceremony
Thailand

"Spiritual practice is the process of coming to see our misknowledge and letting it go, to begin to experience, accept, and live the truth about how we and the world actually are. When we begin to understand and to live this way, there is a great decrease in fear and dread, so common in human experience, caused by the huge gap between our expectations and the way things actually are. With an appreciation of the empty nature of things, there are no more foiled expectations. There is a lot more joy, peace, and love."

-Norman Fischer-

"Got Hope?"

2008-10-05T00:17:00.001-07:00

Obama/Biden 2008

"The true test of the American ideal is whether we’re able to recognize our failings and then rise together to meet the challenges of our time. Whether we allow ourselves to be shaped by events and history, or whether we act to shape them. Whether chance of birth or circumstance decides life’s big winners and losers, or whether we build a community where, at the very least, everyone has a chance to work hard, get ahead, and reach their dreams."

Barack Obama

"White Fire"

2008-10-01T16:12:00.000-07:00

B.M.C.

Egrets

Where the path closed

down and over,

through the scumbled leaves,

fallen branches,

through the knotted catbrier,

I kept going. Finally

I could not

save my arms

from thorns; soon

the mosquitoes

smelled me, hot

and wounded, and came

wheeling and whining.

And that's how I came

to the edge of the pond:

black and empty

except for a spindle

of bleached reeds

at the far shore

which, as I looked,

wrinkled suddenly

into three egrets - - -

a shower

of white fire!

Even half-asleep they had

such faith in the world

that had made them - - -

tilting through the water,

unruffled, sure,

by the laws

of their faith not logic,

they opened their wings

softly and stepped

over every dark thing.

-Mary Oliver-

Thinking of B.M.C. today, and sending strength and love to S.M.

For GMR...

2008-09-23T21:36:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Aloha Party at HSB
9-23-08

“Greater than scene is situation. Greater than situation is implication. Greater than all of these is a single, entire human being, who will never be confined in any frame.”

Eudora Welty

gmr...

Cheers and thanks to you and your wise teachings of living, being, and practicing outside of the "frame." And, the ripple effects multiply and flourish...

-grassrootsmsw-

Anyway...

2008-09-15T20:04:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.

Yet….

Give your best anyway.”

-Mother Teresa-

Each and every one of us carries our histories and stories. We all honor and celebrate that which has created the joy, love, and happiness in our lives.' We savor each precious moment and person who made us smile and laugh...it is part of what defines who we are, how far we have come, and how we move forth.

We have countless ingredients that build upon the kaleidocope of what is our life.

Often, what can be more defining and shaping are the painful stories which have created the feelings of loss, grief and sadness within us. These are the stories we tightly hold close, in a secret part of ourselves.' Holding this in isolation, seemingly protects us from judgment, and sometimes from a truth that is too painful to place or voice in the light of day. After all, we live in a world and society that prefers to see strength and resilience. Innately, the human instinct draws us to fit into a world where we belong and are understood and accepted. And, yes, most people want to be surrounded by happy and positive...

But what about those who have experiences and secret demons and can't find their way back to the happy places'? What about those who suffer silently, just because they don't want to be rejected or don't want to burden others' with their troubles'?

What if each of us reached out to someone whose pain was silent but recognizable and just offered presence without questions or solution? Their pain...our pain...it may be different in source, but it is still pain.

I am thinking of a special and dear colleague...her pain is real and how she has been secretly coping reminds me that we, as a society, can do better, heal more, and learn to embrace that which is scary or foreign to us. It's about accepting and holding humanity in every form, without judgment, and always with an open mind and heart.

-grassrootsmsw-

Untangling the roots...

2008-09-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Hendri's Beach
SB, CA

Deepak Chopra: Obama and The Palin Effect

Posted: September 4th, 2008

Sometimes politics has the uncanny effect of mirroring the national psyche even when nobody intended to do that. This is perfectly illustrated by the rousing effect that Gov. Sarah Palin had on the Republican convention in Minneapolis this week. On the surface, she outdoes former Vice President Dan Quayle as an unlikely choice, given her negligent parochial expertise in the complex affairs of governing. Her state of Alaska has less than 700,000 residents, which reduces the job of governor to the scale of running one-tenth of New York City. By comparison, Rudy Giuliani is a towering international figure. Palin's pluck has been admired, and her forthrightness, but her real appeal goes deeper.

She is the reverse of Barack Obama, in essence his shadow, deriding his idealism and exhorting people to obey their worst impulses. In psychological terms the shadow is that part of the psyche that hides out of sight, countering our aspirations, virtue, and vision with qualities we are ashamed to face: anger, fear, revenge, violence, selfishness, and suspicion of "the other." For millions of Americans, Obama triggers those feelings, but they don't want to express them. He is calling for us to reach for our higher selves, and frankly, that stirs up hidden reactions of an unsavory kind. (Just to be perfectly clear, I am not making a verbal play out of the fact that Sen. Obama is black. The shadow is a metaphor widely in use before his arrival on the scene.)

I recognize that psychological analysis of politics is usually not welcome by the public, but I believe such a perspective can be helpful here to understand Palinʼs message. In her acceptance speech Gov. Palin sent a rousing call to those who want to celebrate their resistance to change and a higher vision.

Look at what she stands for:

--Small town values -- a denial of America's global role, a return to petty, small-minded parochialism.

--Ignorance of world affairs -- a repudiation of the need to repair America's image abroad.

--Family values -- a code for walling out anybody who makes a claim for social justice. Such strangers, being outside the family, don't need to be heeded.

--Rigid stands on guns and abortion -- a scornful repudiation that these issues can be negotiated with those who disagree.

--Patriotism -- the usual fallback in a failed war.

--"Reform" -- an italicized term, since in addition to cleaning out corruption and excessive spending, one also throws out anyone who doesn't fit your ideology.

Palin reinforces the overall message of the reactionary right, which has been in play since 1980, that social justice is liberal-radical, that minorities and immigrants, being different from "us" pure American types, can be ignored, that progressivism takes too much effort and globalism is a foreign threat. The radical right marches under the banners of "I'm all right, Jack," and "Why change? Everything's OK as it is." The irony, of course, is that Gov. Palin is a woman and a reactionary at the same time. She can add mom to apple pie on her resume, while blithely reversing forty years of feminist progress. The irony is superficial; there are millions of women who stand on the side of conservatism, however obviously they are voting against their own good. The Republicans have won multiple national elections by raising shadow issues based on fear, rejection, hostility to change, and narrow-mindedness.

Obama's call for higher ideals in politics can't be seen in a vacuum. The shadow is real; it was bound to respond. Not just conservatives possess a shadow -- we all do. So what comes next is a contest between the two forces of progress and inertia. Will the shadow win again, or has its furtive appeal become exhausted? No one can predict. The best thing about Gov. Palin is that she brought this conflict to light, which makes the upcoming debate honest. It would be a shame to elect another Reagan, whose smiling persona was a stalking horse for the reactionary forces that have brought us to the demoralized state we are in. We deserve to see what we are getting, without disguise.

Interpreting Open versus Closed

2008-09-04T21:12:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Casco Viejo, Panama

"We all operate in two contrasting modes, which might be called open and closed. The open mode is more relaxed, more receptive, more exploratory, more democratic, more playful and more humorous. The closed mode is the tighter, more rigid, more hierarchical, more tunnel-visioned. Most people, unfortunately spend most of their time in the closed mode. Not that the closed mode cannot be helpful. If you are leaping a ravine, the moment of takeoff is a bad time for considering alternative strategies. When you charge the enemy machine-gun post, don't waste energy trying to see the funny side of it. Do it in the "closed" mode. But the moment the action is over, try to return to the "open" mode—to open your mind again to all the feedback from our action that enables us to tell whether the action has been successful, or whether further action is need to improve on what we have done. In other words, we must return to the open mode, because in that mode we are the most aware, most receptive, most creative, and therefore at our most intelligent."

John Cleese

The Path of Common Purpose...

2008-08-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“Our government should work for us, not against us. It should help us, not hurt us. It should ensure opportunity not just for those with the most money and influence, but for every American who's willing to work.

That's the promise of America - the idea that we are responsible for ourselves, but that we also rise or fall as one nation; the fundamental belief that I am my brother's keeper; I am my sister's keeper.

Individual responsibility and mutual responsibility - that's the essence of America's promise.”

Barack Obama

DNC, 8-28-08

Thanks to D.P.

2008-08-26T20:45:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

"We don't accomplish anything in the world alone...whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weaving's of individual threads from one to another that creates something."

Sandra Day O’Connor

For D.P....

Thank you for all that you have shared and given with commitment, truth, and an open heart.

The story and connections are to be continued...

Stay tuned...

A Gathering of Solitude

2008-08-15T00:02:00.000-07:00

photo by J.A.S.
NYC

"Our disasters come from letting nothing live for itself,
from the longing we have to pull everything,
even friends,
into ourselves,
and let nothing alone."

-Robert Bly-

Imperfect being...

2008-08-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

phot by grassrootsmsw

“It is through being wounded that power grows and can, in the end, become tremendous”

Friedrich Nietzsche

"Do the Right Thing"

2008-07-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Savannah , GA
2008

“It's the action, not the fruit of the action, that's important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there'll be any fruit. But that doesn't mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.”

Gandhi

Vision and Result(s)

2008-07-08T22:16:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Solana Beach, CA 2007

“Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”

Andrew Carnegie

We still believe and hope...

We will never stop trying...

Our purpose and
our dedication
to this work
depends on this...

-grassrootsmsw-

The "Gap"

2008-07-06T18:55:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
"The Gap Fire"
Goleta, CA 2008

“We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness....”

Thich Nhat Hanh

It always amazes me that it often requires a large scale disaster, to bring people together...911, Katrina, fires, floods, earthquakes...why do we wait to hold, honor, and stand united until there is catastrophe?

We are all here on this place, we call Earth...we all experience moments of joy, loss, heart ache, love, and everything in between. Owning our individuality is important, but holding on to our "separateness" can divide us.

Coexist...can we? Regardless of our individualness? I think each of us can...I think each of us should...with or without disaster. Connectedness and understanding, is, after all, the innate need of all human beings.'

Coexisting, with compassion and openness, to all that is known and known...I dare everyone to just try.

-grassrootsmsw-

Tomato Juice, please...

2008-06-25T21:46:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Alabama, Farmer's market

“Effective teamwork is all about making a good, well-balanced salad,

not whipping individuals into a single batch of V8.”

Sandra Richardson

Coming Home...

2008-06-20T20:40:00.001-07:00

NL, 2008

“The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't, but in the end they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself.”

Carrie: ‘Sex and the City’

Freedom from parameters...

2008-06-15T19:58:00.001-07:00

photo by D.B.L.
Kenya, Africa

“Anytime we see systems in apparent chaos, our training urges us to interfere, to stabilize and shore things up. But if we can trust the workings of chaos, we will see that the dominant shape of our organizations can be maintained if we retain clarity about the purpose and direction of the organization. If we succeed in maintaining focus, rather than hands-on control, we also create the flexibility and responsiveness that every organization craves. What leaders are called upon to do in a chaotic world is to shape their organizations through concepts, not through elaborate rules or structures.”

Margaret J. Wheatley

The Sacred Purpose...

2008-06-10T22:18:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

Floating Market, Thailand

2008

“Nothing happens in the quantum world without something encountering something else. Nothing is independent of the relationships that occur. I am constantly creating the world - evoking it, not discovering it - as I participate in all its many interactions. This is a world of process, not a world of things.”

Margaret J. Wheatley

Always, always, the process...

-grassrootsmsw-

Organic flow...

2008-06-02T22:46:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Central Park, NYC

"This fundamental truth of the self can be realized only if the individual is willing and courageous enough to follow to some natural conclusion,

this moment of experience,
this facing the unknown,

and participating with the total commitment of the self.

Such expression, such passion for life
may emerge in written, spoken, graphic
or aesthetic forms in relation or in isolation;
in I-Thou encounters; and in silent, inner experience.

A compassionate willingness is required -
as is the courage to live before the fact,
before the understanding,
before any rational support or certainty,
to live the moment to its natural peak and conclusion,
and to accept with dignity whatever joy, grief,
misfortune, or unexpectedness occurs."

Clark Moustakas

Gaggling on...

2008-05-26T20:54:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.”

Erma Bombeck

After a week of visits from special family members, I am a mix of bittersweet emotions...
I feel so fortunate to be part of a family that remains connected despite distance of continents...we can always start where we left off; we laugh and retell stories we have heard many times over; we accept and embrace one another, even knowing the worst, and we know how to care for one another without words. It is this deep connection that always makes the 'goodbyes' that much harder...a quiet sense of loss, a full heart of gratitude, and a hopeful anticipation for their next visit.

-grassrootsmsw-

Free thinkers...

2008-05-12T20:39:00.001-07:00

photo by E.F de Jonge
Seppel
NL, 1963

“To be playful is not to be trivial or frivolous, or to act as though nothing of consequence will happen. On the contrary, when we are playful with each other we relate as free persons, and the relationship is open to surprise; everything that happens is of consequence. It is, in fact, seriousness that closes itself to consequence, for seriousness is a dread of the unpredictable outcome of open possibility. To be serious is to press for a specified conclusion. To be playful is to allow for possibility whatever the cost to oneself.”

James Carse

Play with a full heart,
Love with integrity and truth,
Laugh deep belly laughs.

Hold onto your truths' and
own them,
but try to let the lightness in...
the balance we all need.

Let the freedom of that choice in!

Cheers!

-grassrootsmsw-

Time Outs'...

2008-05-06T21:32:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Kanchanaburi, Thailand

"When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago."

Friedrich Nietzsche

Being a pioneer in a rigid and static system constantly requires energy, endurance, and an unswerving commitment to change.

Despite a dedicated belief and internal honor system, the uphill battle often induces feelings of exhaustion...a need for a 'time out' and a heavy exhaled yawn.

Yawn, roll over, hibernate, rest. Regenerate.

The goals and purposes remain, but can only be addressed when we have stopped to breathe, rejuvenate, and reassemble the game plan.

Yawn and rest...yawn and rest...

There is still climbing to be done and aspirations to be reached.

-grassrootsmsw-

The slippery slope...

2008-05-02T21:49:00.001-07:00

photo by J.A.S.

"Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment."

Ralph Marston

Without Rules or Regulation(s)...

2008-04-30T19:49:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Seattle, WA

"The outside world pressures you into a mold,
and if you don't accept that - you gamble with life.

Call it gambling...

You know when I decided to become professional -
that means to expose yourself naked to the world
with other creative minds...

I said, "I'm going into areas I don't know.
I might just fall right down to hell and kill myself."

Then I said, "Well, who cares?
I'd rather do it and see what it's all about."

I don't want the safe way...

The safe way limits you."

Louise Nevelson

Maybe we should all see and color outside and beyond the lines...

Maybe it is the only way to learn and create;

opening the beautiful and authentic spaces...

-grassrootsmsw-

Celebrating April 27th

2008-04-27T21:00:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
July 2007

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart."

Elizabeth Foley

Happy Birthday dearest Trishie!

The dutch girls' and the menagerie miss you and send love, hugs, and wet canine licks!!!

OPEN....

2008-04-24T20:33:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Amsterdam, NL

“One change,

always leaves the door open

for the establishment of others…”

-Niccolo Machiavelli-

Unfurling...

2008-04-21T20:38:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“The greatest stories are those that resonate our beginnings and intuit our endings, our mysterious origins and our numinous destinies, and dissolve them both into one.”

Ben Okri

Allow for the unfurling...
no planning or mapping.
Just, pure, organic,
blending...
of all that is, was and
may be...

-grassrootsmsw-

Story Keepers

2008-04-17T19:24:00.001-07:00

painting by S.G.
4-16-08

“Their story, yours and mine –

it’s what we all carry with us on this trip we take,

and we owe it to each other to respect our stories

and learn from them.”

William Carlos Williams

I have been a professional social worker for 17 years. Sometimes I have received praise and at other times I have been given constructive criticism. While I remain open to feedback and insight, my goal and purpose in this work has been to try the best I can to make a positive difference...a difference for others'...completely removed from self need or interest. I do this work because I was raised to see and believe that this is just the right thing to do...to give back, for no other reason than to give back.

The greatest compliment I have ever received over all these years came yesterday, from a respected colleague, at a staff retreat..."You are the keeper of stories. Thank you."

If I never did another day of social work, I would hold this comment as the highest compliment and feel that I had accomplished the deepest truth of what social work is. The greatest honor in the world is when someone offers to even share a glimpse of their narrative. With gratitude I try to hold each and every story, attempting and yearning to see the beauty, integrity and value behind the story tellers' STORY.

May I always be granted the privilege of hearing, learning, and holding the stories...

-grassrootsmsw-

A City Unto Itself...

2008-04-14T19:12:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
NYC, 76th Street Deli
"Eddie and Madison"
1993

“You come to New York to find the ambiance that will evoke your best. You do not necessarily know precisely what that might be, but you come to New York to discover it.”

Dr. James Hillman

The corner delis/bodegas in NYC are their own institutions with dynamics I have never seen or experienced before. Mohammed, Eddie, Manu, and Jimmie were my corner deli men. Not only did they know my morning coffee needs' (light, no sugar), every morning, they also remembered to include bacon or a bagel for my faithful dog Madison...each and every day.

The above photo is Halloween in 1993. All the dog owners' in the neighborhood "dressed" their dogs in costume. Being originally from California, Madison was dressed as a hippy/'Dead head.' The back of his t-shirt said: "Peace, Love and Hemp."

Madison's reward for best costume...extra bacon from his beloved deli man, Eddie.
My reward: Discovering the fortune and fate that brought me to NYC and leaving with me, forever, appreciation for this city of paradox and truth...all in one...

-grassrootsmsw-

Every day...

2008-04-08T19:25:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Thailand

“I don’t believe in greatness, I believe in everyday decency,

in humility and gratitude.”

Shmuley Boteach

"The Wall"

2008-03-31T22:45:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Roger Waters Concert
The Berlin Wall, 1990

“Greater than scene is situation. Greater than situation is implication. Greater than all of these is a single, entire human being, who will never be confined in any frame.”

Eudora Welty

The Rose

2008-03-25T21:27:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Holly's garden

"I am a fox," said the fox.

"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince. "I am so unhappy."

"I cannot play with you," the fox said. "I am not tamed."

"Ah! Please excuse me," said the little prince. But, after some thought, he added: "What does that mean, 'tame'?"

"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. It means to establish ties."

"'To establish ties'?"

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world..."

"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower... I think that she has tamed me..."

"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox. But he came back to his idea. "My life is very monotonous," the fox said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life . I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the colour of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat..."

The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time. "Please, tame me!" he said.

"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."

"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me..."

So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near... "Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you..."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all," said The Prince.

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added: "Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret." ...

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose..." said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

It takes time to build trust and establish ties with another.
It requires consistency, fairness, equal treatment, and reciprocity.

The personal relationship is one that often must be integrated with the professional one...
hearts and minds coming together.

True personal bonds require the understanding of individual differences.
There is significant importance in being responsible to that gifted trust.
The bond is precious and fragile...
asking each to accept their responsibility for their part of the relationship.

-grassrootsmsw-

The Safety Clutch...

2008-03-24T22:25:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Thailand

“Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,

but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,

but for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved,

but hope for the patience to win my freedom.
Grant that I may not be a coward,
but let me find the grasp of your hand in my failure.”

-Ibid-

Merging...

2008-03-19T22:02:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Thailand

“....All the things and events we usually consider as irreconcilable, such as cause and effect, past and future, subject and object, are actually just like the crest and trough of a single wave, a single vibration. For a wave, although itself a single event, only expresses itself through the opposites of crest and trough, high point and low point. For that very reason, the reality is not found in the crest nor the trough alone, but in their unity...”

Ken Wilber

The 'Grace' of March 18th

2008-03-17T20:50:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Brentwood, CA 1991

PINK...Not just any kind of pink, but the soft tender pink of a powdery rose. “It must be just the right shade,” Oma said. I always tried to wear some form of the “right shade” when I would visit her…if only, to see the smile and appreciation on her face.

The hot pink perfume box, saved from a trip to Paris in the 40’s, sat on her vanity bureau; just as it had, as far back as I can remember. “Shocking,” by Sciaparelli was written in gold across the box. She never failed to re-tell me that this was her favorite perfume…a perfume that was discontinued and no longer made. “It smelled of the perfect pink,” she said. I watched her eyes, dreamily reminisce, and go back to an exciting and youthful time in her life…there were untold and never to be spoken secrets and mysteries there.

My sister and I were her only grandchildren. “My girl angels,” she said, smiling and proud. We were the daughters she never had; the daughters’ she had always imagined to swathe and enfold in that “perfect pink.”

From young ages, Oma spoiled my sister and I with the most wonderful shopping sprees. While she usually picked out clothing for us, there was one occasion where my sister, at the age of 5, got the upper hand. It was a Saturday, at the Brentwood Country Mart, in the children’s clothing store, “Jack and Jill.” While my grandmother was preoccupied with the new dress I was trying on, my sister had begun her own scavenge of the store, finding and putting on the most outlandish and ostentatious dress and hat. “This is what I want, Oma,” she said, standing with her feet spread apart and hands on her hips. Poor Oma never knew what would hit her as she peeled into curls of laughter, tears coming from her eyes as she said, “My God, you look like little orphan Annie.” My sister did not find her outfit humorous at all and immediately burst into tears. “I want this outfit, I am NOT taking it off,” my sister shouted between sobs. Oma tried to control her giggling, but the more defiant my sister became, the more Oma laughed. Mind you, it became funnier as the lace surrounding the floppy sunflower hat, continued to flop in my sister’s face. Between laughter and tears, the owners of the dress shop suggested that Oma take my sister for a walk to calm her (even though my sister was NOT in any way going to disrobe from her chosen dress and hat). Oma, realizing that my sister was determined, took her on her lap and said, “Do you really want this dress and hat?” Through weepy 5 year old eyes, my sister looked intensely at Oma and said in the most sincere voice, “Oma, this is the dress I have wanted my whole entire life.” Needless to say, my sister left the dress shop in that very dress and hat, leaving Oma with a story she would tell for years to come.

Being 5 years older than my sister, I had the gift of Oma’s full unadulterated attention before my sister’s arrival. Oma always made me feel special and important when she would take me for breakfast or lunch to places of my choice. One morning, right before my sister was born, Oma took me for breakfast at the “Friar’s;” a favorite place for home made cinnamon buns. Oma made me feel more adult as she asked me detailed questions about myself and school. As we sat, enjoying our cinnamon buns and chatting, an older gentleman came to our table and said, “How lovely to see a mother and daughter enjoying a breakfast out together.” We both smiled and said, “Thank you.” As the man moved away from our table I said to Oma, “He thought you were my mom!” Oma smiled with a glowing blush. As we left the restaurant I suggested to Oma, “Let’s skip to the car!” Without hesitation she took my hand and we skipped the half a block to her car. I remember looking up at Oma and seeing the happy smile on her face. Then, I stopped and looked at Oma’s hands. “You know, Oma,” I said, “If that man had seen your worried hands he would have known you were my Oma and not my mom.” Leave it to a child to innocently deflate someone’s balloon. Years later Oma would re-tell this story, saying, “Here I was feeling so young after that man’s comment in the restaurant, and then Tianna asked me to skip to the car…I felt so youthful and complimented…then she told me about my ‘worried hands.’”

My sister and I always went to Oma’s home, knowing her welcoming arms would hold and love us. The familiar scents of her home, provided us with a sense of safety and consistency. Nothing ever changed in her home, and it was something we counted on. The player piano in her living room never tired of the same music reels we would play over and over. The front yard, with the large birch tree, awaited our regular picnics held in its’ shade. The room with the canopy bed was always ready for our sleep overs… made with the softest sheets and perfect goose down pillows. The rocker in the room is where Oma would sit and read our bed time stories to us as we dozed off to sleep.

Many visits to Oma were spent playing Yahtzee, Old Maid, and Clue in her den… Cashews and Coca-Cola supplied from the wet bar called “The Red Lyon.” The curved oak bar had been built as a replica from a pub in England which my grandfather had favored.

Another much loved past time was when Oma would let us play dress up in her never ending closet of clothing. My sister and I could spend hours pretending to be princesses and queens as we donned many of her different gowns and high heels. Oma would pretend she didn’t see us eating the green milk bone dog biscuits behind the wing back chairs in her den, while dressed in one of her old ball gowns. Oma let us get away with a lot and created beautiful spaces for our imaginations to blossom and flourish.

March 18^th is Oma’s birthday and despite her ‘earthly’ absence to us since 2004, she is forever present in our hearts,’ and unconsciously, who she was to us, resonates and ricochets in how we lead our lives. Shocking pink…shocking pink…

With love from afar, yet so very near and always, cherished.

-grassrootsmsw-

Allowing emergence...

2008-03-12T22:58:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Kaeng Krachan national Park
Thailand

“Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things-with resignations, yes, but above all, with blazing serene hope.”

Corazon Aquino

Voyaging...

2008-03-07T21:10:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Kaeng Krachan National Park
Thailand

“To listen is to continually give up all expectation and to give our attention, completely and freshly, to what is before us, not really knowing what we will hear or what that will mean. In the practice of our days, to listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.”

Mark Nepo

...Or, to be changed and open to all that is unexpected, unknown, or beyond our familiar
"comfort zone."

-grassrootsmsw-

Montage...

2008-03-04T19:02:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
The Grand Palace
Bangkok, Thailand

“We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.”

Jimmy Carter

ETHOS...

2008-02-29T21:44:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Akhu Hill Tribe Women
Thailand

"Diversity…is not casual liberal tolerance of anything not yourself. It is not polite accommodation. Instead, diversity is, in action, the sometimes painful awareness that other people, other races, other voices, other habits of mind have as much integrity of being, as much claim on the world as you do… And I urge you, amid all the differences present to the eye and mind, to reach out to create the bond that…will protect us all. We are all meant to be here together."

William M. Chase

There is splendor, magnificence, and purpose that exists far beyond my wonderment. The cultivation and timeless nurturing of values, customs, mores, and traditions instills awe; and reawakens the possibility of truth and authenticity. It triggers and asks for one's most primitive and elemental instincts and nature to arrive. It opens and expands our viewpoints...the sincerity and acceptance to this reality presents a value that is irreplaceable.

-grassrootsmsw-

Elephants

2008-02-05T22:40:00.001-08:00

Photo Courtesy of Elephant Animal Park
Thailand

"Watching elephants is meditative, giving us a deeper sense of our place as an integral part of nature, and not its centre. They teach us to marvel at the multiplicity of life, and become more compassionate and positive in our outlook. As the most dominant of all species, we have both a collective and individual duty of care. A world without elephants would be a world with a shattered soul."

-Steve Bloom-

I will be on a blogger break until the end of February...on a journey that will include the honor of experiencing the majesty of elephants...

Ecomapping...

2008-01-25T21:11:00.000-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
NYC, 1992

"Making mental connections is our
most critical learning tool, the essence
of human intelligence: to forge links;
to go beyond the given; to see
patterns, relationship, context."

Marilyn Ferguson

Opening the lens...

2008-01-22T21:03:00.000-08:00

photo by D. L.
Kenya, Africa

"A Senegalese poet said 'In the end we will conserve only what we love. We love only what we understand, and we will understand only what we are taught.' We must learn about other cultures in order to understand, in order to love, and in order to preserve our common world heritage."

–Yo Yo Ma, White House Conference on Culture and Diplomacy-

As health care practitioners, as caregivers, as human beings, it is our responsibility and our greatest privilege to embrace the concept of 'multiculturalism.'

This is a process, overlapping and occurring over time, where we open ourselves to recognizing, understanding, and appreciating differences and similarities in the various cultures we experience and encounter. It is a process ultimately creating transformation and openness to a broader way of living, thinking, and behaving.

There is a rich, varied, and beautiful world beyond what is 'known' to us...waiting to enrich and expand life possibilities and truths...

-grassrootsmsw-

Fluidity

2008-01-16T18:23:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, seems to flow.”

George F. Will

Quentin

2008-01-12T21:54:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

"There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat."
Tay Hohoff

Belief in the unknown...

2008-01-11T18:40:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“During periods of discontinuous, abrupt change, the essence of adaptation involves a keen sensitivity to what should be abandoned - not what should be changed or introduced. A willingness to depart from the familiar has distinct survival value.”

Peter F. Drucker

The Precision of Clarity

2008-01-07T19:54:00.001-08:00

photo by D.B.L.
Africa

Andrea Ayvazian:

A reporter interviewing A.J. Muste, who during the Vietnam War stood in front of the White House night after night with a candle…one rainy night asked,"Mr. Muste, do you really think you are going to change the policies of this country by standing out here alone at night with a candle?" Muste replied, "Oh, I don't do it to change the country, I do it so the country won't change me.”

Reap and harvest

2007-12-26T22:22:00.000-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“By choosing your thoughts,
and by selecting which emotional currents you will release
and which you will reinforce,
you determine the quality of your Light.
You determine the effects that you will have upon others,
and the nature of the
experiences of your life.”

Gary Zukav

Own this...breathe it in...
honor the internal stirrings and hold this integrity
to your best and truest ability...

Intent and Labor

2007-12-18T22:19:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“It is possible I am pushing

through solid rock,

like the vein of ore

encased, alone.



I am such a long way in

I can see no way through and no space.

Everything is close to my face

and everything close to my face is stone.



I don't have much knowledge yet in grief,

so this darkness makes me feel small.

You, be the Master;

Make yourself fierce; break in.

And then your great transforming will happen to me

And my great grief cry will happen to you.”

Ranier Maria Rilke

Traversing bridges and paths...

2007-12-17T17:51:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Rome, GA

“We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth right in front of our faces.

At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say ‘cause there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.

Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world… Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?”

Grey’s Anatomy

Rooting...

2007-12-10T21:43:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“And everything I know just fades away…
And where the wildflower grows it picks its space…
And that's the way it is when nature plays its lovely hand.”

Sheryl Crow

Having to trust where the seeds have fallen...
waiting for them to take root...
a tender, fragile, and vulnerable time.

Time to be brave,
and recognize that clenched fists won't help
or allow a process to unfold.

Time for letting go
and trusting
that the seeds will produce
strong and enduring roots.

-grassrootsmsw-

Principles and Duties

2007-12-06T17:49:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“Ethics cannot be based upon our obligations toward [people], but they are complete and natural only when we feel this Reverence for Life and the desire to have compassion for and to help all creatures insofar as it is in our power. I think that this ethic will become more and more recognized because of its great naturalness and because it is the foundation of a true humanism toward which we must strive if our culture is to become truly ethical.”

Albert Schweitzer

Play it out...

2007-12-03T22:26:00.001-08:00

photo by A. Krynen

“You're alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative is so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounds like this:

Look. Listen. Choose. Act.”

Barbara Hall

Holding Fragility with Strength

2007-11-29T20:51:00.001-08:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Central Park, NYC

“It's not a day on the calendar. Not a birthday, not a new year. It's an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, it gives us hope. A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories . . . What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. But it's also important to remember that amid all the crap . . . there are a few things worth holding on to.”

Grey’s Anatomy

Choosing Ambiguity...

2007-11-21T21:40:00.001-08:00

photo by E. Fabery de Jonge
Kauai, HI

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, or end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.”

Gilda Radner

Pet Bereavement

2007-11-13T21:11:00.001-08:00

Image by Seltzer LLC
"Pet door"

For M and M:

Thinking of you both and believing Henry has found his door and is ruling his new kingdom...

Madison probably has a slightly larger door, but will be more than pleased to let Henry rule him upon entering!

The Boys...

2007-11-08T19:51:00.001-08:00

November 8th

Happy Appletinis my dear ones!
Imagining you both toasting together...
with, Roxie, of coarse...

In Honor of "Mad Man" 2/12/95-11/7/07

2007-11-07T16:30:00.001-08:00

Madison's first snow
NYC 1995

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader.
He will be yours, faithful and true,
to the last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
Author-Unknown

For the last 12 and a half years I have lived in many places without established roots, but there was always a sense of “home” because my dear Madison was with me…it was his love and devotion which defined “home” wherever we were together.

There is an indescribable bond that was gifted to both of us from the moment we first met. It was and is untainted, pure, and unconditional.

As a young pup he looked to me for permission to frolic with his canine buddies, and usually ran back between my legs for protection when it was more than he could handle. It was his joyous innocent exuberance, upon experiencing his first snow fall, which stays with me…He rolled back and forth and dipped his nose into the deep delicious 4 inches of white powder, and begged me with his eyes to join him. It was with ease and pleasure that I joined in his wonderment and fun.

Without words, just a look, we know what the other needs. Mostly, we have just looked to one another for companionship and a warm body to lean against. Being a golden retriever, Madison would always be blatantly open in showing me his desire for dog treats…which was most of his waking hours.

While I knew that one day I would have to say good bye to him, I never imagined how that would look and it was easy to push that dreaded thought away. Last night, after a painful and lengthy seizure, Madison looked at me and I saw what I didn’t want to see, but what I knew I had to honor and acknowledge.

He has been my silent protector and guardian for 12 and half years, and now it is my turn to be his.

Moral Solidarity

2007-10-30T19:15:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

"There is no profit in curing the body,

if in the process,

we destroy the soul."

City of Hope
Duarte, CA

There are so many fine lines for health care professionals...
We make the commitment to cure and heal, while also making an oath to honor patient self determination and choice.

Above all else, it is our responsibility to remember that we are face to face with human beings who have stories and histories, that define them...long before we have arrived. Every line and mark on their face holds who they are and where they have been. We have a RESPONSIBILITY to recognize and acknowledge this...this is their story, not ours...despite all the knowledge, beliefs, or skills we have to offer. This is about honoring and placing patient and family experiences at the core of our work.

Ann Hartman, LCSW, and Dean of Smith School of Social Work, insightfully stated:

"Because many of our patients and families are powerless and oppressed, their knowledge has been subjugated, and their insights have been excluded from the discourse by those who are empowered to define the 'truth.' We must bring forth their wisdom, their lived experience, and their visions of the world."

THEIR truth...not ours.

Here is a moral obligation, and in a powerful yet soothing way, it is an opening for a creation of human solidarity.

-grassrootsmsw-

Hidden edges...

2007-10-22T17:36:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“Honor uncertainty. It's the seed from which all-knowingness comes…

Give it time.”

Mike Dooley

The Walk of Pandemonium

2007-10-07T18:37:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Stanford University

“I have a great belief in the fact that whenever there is chaos, it creates wonderful thinking. I consider chaos a gift.”

Septima Poinsette Clark

The process of change
in the midst of death and life...
balancing and maneuvering
through sharp twists and turns;
not knowing how or when
the process will end or unfold.

Patience,
intuition,
trust,
belief,
and stamina
keep us moving forwards.

The determination
to stay true to the course
and make a positive difference
rumbles and stirs within us.

Despite a bureaucracy,
which often alienates
and removes itself
from the original 'human factor'
in it's goals and purposes.

We have not yet integrated
the old way of thinking with the new...
This is a significant juncture,
asking for our creativity and strength.

Let's allow the rumbles inside
to be silent "roars" of purpose...
keeping us steady and strong
on our path to change.

-grassrootsmsw-

Celebrating October 1st

2007-10-01T22:55:00.001-07:00

B.M. Cahn

"It well may be
that we will never meet again
in this lifetime.
So, let me say before we part, so much of me
is made of what I learned from you.
You'll be with me,
like a handprint on my heart,
and now whatever way our stories end,
I know you have re-written mine...
by being my friend.
Because I knew you,
I have been changed for good."

Elphalba
from
Wicked

Dearest Baaazer...

Holding you close and celebrating you today and many, many, days throughout the year.

So many miss you...each and every memory reminding us that the honor and privilege was ours...

Sending love and laughter to you... always.

Priceless...

2007-09-25T18:50:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“There is a kind of quilt called a friendship quilt, but I imagine all of mine, no matter what their pattern, are emblems of female friendship, that essential thread that has so often kept the pieces of my own life together, and from time to time kept me from falling apart.”

-Author unknown-

Thank you S.G., E.F.S., and A.K. for being all that you are and honoring and toasting my rites of passage. I look forward to adding more to the quilt...

With love and gratitude...

At the bedside...

2007-09-24T18:33:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

"If we're not willing to explore our own suffering, then we will only be guessing as we try to understand our patients. It is the exploration of our own suffering that allows us to serve others. This is what allows us to touch another person's pain with compassion instead of fear and pity. And we have to be willing to listen, not only to the patient but to ourselves."

Frank Ostaseski
Founder of Zen Hospice, S.F.

Owning delicious ambiguity...

2007-09-23T22:27:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootmsw

“Everything changed the day they
figured out there was exactly enough
time for the important things in their lives.”

Brian Andreas

Open to the elements

2007-09-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

photo by A. Krynen

"The value of our harshest difficulties is how honestly they cause us to question, how they intensify our courage and bring alive our deepest inner purpose, how they reawaken our soul's task on earth. The painful breaking apart of our world is often the precious opportunity our heart has needed to learn to be true to itself."

Jack Kornfield

Finding the map...

2007-09-18T20:07:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Seattle, WA

"Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely.

It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take "everyone on Earth" to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.

One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul."

Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Sharing the 13th

2007-09-13T17:22:00.001-07:00

photo by Peter Cunningham
NYC

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

The Velveteen Rabbit

I was understood and tended to by a dear friend today...

D-Day could have brought a mix and multitude of emotions.

Instead, it brought gratitude and moments of laughter and insight.

It was REAL, RAW, and FULFILLING.

Thank you S.G. for your nurturing friendship
and presence. Forwards we go, with even greater depth.
Cheers to life and all the unknown adventures waiting.

-grassrootsmsw-

D-Day on the 13th

2007-09-12T17:21:00.001-07:00

photo by J.A.S.

"In my end is my beginning."
T.S. Eliot

Beauty, wonder and mystery awaits...
May the unfolding begin.

-grassrootsmsw-

Hypothesis...

2007-09-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

"All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions."

Leonardo da Vinci

Origination

2007-08-26T22:59:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Seattle, WA

"You're writing the story of your life one moment at a time."

Doc Childre and Howard Martin

Breaking it open...

2007-08-20T19:32:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Alabama Country Market

“The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not.”

Grey’s Anatomy

Chance and possibility...

2007-08-19T23:28:00.001-07:00

Cancun, MX
1987

“When you live your life with an
appreciation of coincidences
and their meanings,
you connect with the underlying field of
infinite possibilities.”

Deepak Chopra

Just...being...

2007-08-18T00:00:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.”

Grey’s Anatomy

Untamed and True

2007-08-15T17:33:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“The only ones for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!”

Jack Kerouac

Lexis

2007-08-12T00:00:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Alabama Country Market

“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way--things I had no words for.”

Georgia O'Keeffe

The Best Within

2007-08-09T14:14:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw
Rome, GA

" In the name of the best within you, do not sacrifice this world to those who are its worst. In the name of the values that keep you alive, do not let your vision of man be distorted by the ugly, the cowardly, the mindless in those who have never achieved this title. Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind, and a step that travels unlimited roads. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible,
it's YOURS."

Ayn Rand

Tributes...

2007-07-30T19:44:00.001-07:00

photo by grassrootsmsw

“I hope it is true that a man can die and yet not only live in others but give them life, and not only life, but that great consciousness of life.”

Jack Kerouac