Wednesday, October 04, 2006


Opa Benji

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.”
-Anthony Brandt-

All Fathers have their own history…
Their own unique life narrative…

Time, events, and relations
developed and created
who they are.
Designing and shaping:
their strengths, their weaknesses;
their views, their insights;
their survival mechanisms, their coping abilities.

These traits were paved
into their psyche,
long before we arrived,
as their children.

The stage was set…
The curtain rose…
They found themselves center stage,
in the role of ‘father,’
and the script had yet to be written.

As infants,
we may gurgle and
reach our chubby arms out to the familiar face of ‘Dad,’
when he reaches into our crib,
to relieve us from a soggy diaper.

As toddlers,
we begin to perform acts
that trigger smiles
on our father’s faces.

We begin to learn that our actions
create reactions.
Our journey of yearning for
approval and acceptance

As we grow from childhood to adulthood,
we start to develop our distinctive identities,
and LOUDLY stamp our feet,
for acknowledgement of our individuality.

We challenge our fathers
to be seen and heard,
in our new, self-found,
audacious character.
All the while, seeking and yearning
for support and veneration.

Our insolent behavior,
is baffling to our fathers…
Time has made them forget,
that they too,
were once the child of a father.

Can both,
Child and father; Father and adult child,
Reframe their thoughts and opinions?

Maybe a father is angry,
because he wants to protect.
Maybe a father lets you fall flat on your face,
because he wants you
to learn,

Maybe a father
lets you find your own way,
by allowing you to make mistakes…
Even if his heart hurts silently,
for your pain.

Maybe a father
admonishes your life choices,
because he has your best interests at heart.
Maybe a father doesn’t want to watch you
recreate his own mistakes.

Maybe a father is waiting for you,
to shine and succeed.
Maybe he doesn’t know how to express that.
Or maybe,
we children,
are too determined and willful, in our self convictions…
We can’t hear a father’s pleas and heartfelt hopes.

Maybe, there can be hope
that one day,
Father and child can recognize
each other,
as equal adults;
With their own valid reasons and purposes.

Maybe one day,
Father and child will just sit,
And REALLY listen.
Just listen,
and honor that, which is the other’s story.

Maybe this sharing
can lead to a profound and transformative opening.
Healing, deep wisdom, and rites of passage

New reflections and revelations
may be discovered…
In their
individual and collective,
deep rooted,
and long standing


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